Reading People

There isn't always a clear distinction between appearance and body language. You might look at a woman and notice the shape of her eyes, their color, the type of makeup she's wearing, her crow's-feet, and whether or not her eyes have a kindly expression or maintain contact with yours. Makeup can clearly be put in the "appearance" column, but what about shifty eyes or kind ones? Eye contact certainly belongs in the "body language" category. But the expression of the eyes might be classified as either appearance or body language.

Although the categories of appearance and body language may overlap, they often reveal very different aspects of a person's character. We can consciously choose our attire, and to some degree we can determine the way our bodies look. Most of our body language, however, is beyond our control.

All elective physical traits, such as the way someone combs his hair, reflect conscious choices, so they tend to reveal how he wants to be seen by the outside world. Even nonelective physical traits can often be altered. A short man may wear stack-heeled boots and a hat. A particularly tall woman may stoop a bit. A woman who must use a cane may choose either a stylish walking stick with a carved head or a hospitalissue version.

Someone's jewelry and accessories can supply clues about her religion, alma mater, hobbies, degree of economic success, taste, and much more. Clothing may point to a certain value system or lifestyle choice—for instance, does this person prefer the practical or the extravagant? And personal grooming habits can reflect on many aspects of someone's personality. But even when read together, attire, accessories, and grooming sometimes reflect only the beliefs, values, and image the person consciously wants to project on a particular occasion.

Body language, on the other hand, provides more basic information. Few people are aware of all their physical reactions to the world around them, and fewer still can always control those actions even if they want to.